How many times have you come up with a brilliant, beyond brilliant idea only to psych yourself out of doing it? If you’re an overthinker or perfectionist, I know this cycle is all too familiar.
Listen, you know you are brilliant at what you do, and even though the overwhelming majority of evidence points to how good you are at what you do, old habits die hard. You get all up in your head and convince yourself that it’s really NOT a good idea, you no longer have what it takes, and you need to put your feet on the ground with your head out of the clouds. Instead of focusing on everything that can go right, you start picking apart your ideas and become intent on finding everything that could possibly go wrong.
There is nothing wrong with thinking things through and weighing the pros and the cons, however it can quickly spiral into overthinking and inventing scenarios that don’t even exist. This leads to procrastination, which leads to inaction, and before you know it, the time you spent mentally convincing yourself that you’ll fail is time wasted taking aligned action to making it work.
In order to have success, you have to learn to get out of your head and have courage to take messy, imperfect action.
But let’s back up a bit and dive into the root of this self sabotage cycle by examining common reasons why we talk ourselves out of things. Then, learn how to take profitable, intentional action to get to what you really want in life.
Why Do We Talk Ourselves Out Of Things?
One of the biggest reasons you talk yourself out of things has to do with lack of confidence, and confidence is a mental game. Confidence has nothing to do with anything external, we lower our confidence by mentally picking apart ourselves and hyper focusing on our weaknesses. When all our attention is focused on where we don’t measure up, guess what? We don’t.
A symptom of this lack of confidence is overthinking all possible negative scenarios. When you allow your mind to go on these tangents, worst case scenarios become real and you start to fear the negative outcomes. But in reality, these negative outcomes haven’t even come into existence. You’ve just created it in your own mind, but by avoiding them, you keep yourself safe, convincing yourself that you can control what you really can’t control.
Not only do our mental prisons cause us to talk ourselves out of things, but often we do to manage others’ perception of us. You may not even fear failure itself, but rather it’s a fear of what people will think about you if you don’t succeed. Once again, it is an attempt to control what you can’t actually control. No matter what action or non-action you take, you simply can not control the opinions of others. People are going to think what they think of you regardless. They may judge your mistakes, judge your lack of effort, and even judge your success. The sooner you accept that others’ opinions have little to nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them, the happier and more successful you will be.
When you continue this pattern of talking yourself out of things, it eventually becomes a inner belief that you are unable to make change in your life. You strengthen this belief every time you decide to avoid or not do something, proving yourself right.
You hold yourself back from doing what could truly make a difference, not just in your own life but in the lives of others. Whatever ideas you have could truly make a difference in this world. Instead of focusing so much on yourself and how the outcome will affect you, think about how it could positively affect others.
As humans, we generally tend to regret things we didn’t do rather than things that we did. This is why we have the phrase, “Better an oops than a what if” and it’s so true. Even if it ends up in an “oops” you learn valuable lessons, including learning to trust yourself to handle whatever goes awry.
How To Stop Talking Yourself Out Of Things
Don’t wait until you’re ready
There is power in planning, but planning often becomes a form of procrastination because you avoid doing the work. We plan because we want to be prepared and ready, not feel prepared and ready. Trust in the plan, not in the feeling.
Instead of waiting in analysis paralysis, build your confidence by doing one small thing a day to push you outside of your comfort zone. These small things add up to big things, so once again, trust in your plan, not in your feelings.
Accountability is the cornerstone of what we give our clients and vital in our team at Legacy The truth is, you are so much more likely to accomplish things if you have someone on your side who knows what you want to do. Accountability is even as simple as saying your intentions out loud to someone, so they can help you and support you when you want to quit.
The truth is honestly, no matter what change you want to make, idea you want to pursue, or business you want to build… At some point you are going to want to quit. This is why accountability is essential to continuing on even when your motivation wanes and self doubt creeps in.
Strengthen your mindset
Create a practice each day where you intentionally strengthen your mindset. Practice confidence, cheer yourself on to take action, observe when you start to self sabotage or procrastinate. Having a mindset routine helps cultivate self-serving thoughts, focus, and results.
What have you been talking yourself out of? What’s one thing you can take action on today?
Give yourself permission today to get out of your own head, stop focusing on what others thing, and start believing in the incredible, brilliant human being you are. Nothing incredible ever happened inside your comfort zone, and if you wait until you feel ready, you’ll be waiting the rest of your life. Trust in the plan, not in the feeling, and get after it today!
Are you ready to build your business and create your legacy?
We believe every woman can build a legacy when she operates in her own unique zone of genius with passion, creativity, and determination. At Legacy Creative, we help female entrepreneurs scale their dream business by giving them a back-pocket business coach and team to support their business, giving back the time and freedom they deserve to realize their dreams and push their businesses forward. Click here to apply to work with with us today!