We are switching gears from our usual business strategy to bring you something a little more personal.
After all, Summer is a time for “Love” affairs and to quote C.S. Lewis
“To Love at all is to be vulnerable”
So let’s dive into what we high performers/achievers/get done at all costs personalities hate: neediness and vulnerability.
THAT we have to have to show up and be visible.
How do you really feel about being vulnerable about being needy? How about wanting prestige and validation? Or is that something you have spent a lifetime trying not to want? Or admit that you need it?
Here’s the thing, we all have needs. And yes, at the base level, we all need safety and security, but there is a second tier of needs. We all truly need pleasure and validation.
We have needs that give us more than just survival.
Children move towards pleasure and away from pain. Pleasure invites us to want things - the leading edge of our desire. Our right to feel, our right to want, and our right to experience pleasure. We reclaim the right to feel and to want things and to want pleasure. We reclaim the right to passion.
That means we are reclaiming our right to need things also known as neediness. To be open to receive things is also known as vulnerability.
That natural desire to be seen and encouraged and honored for that “being alive” enthusiasm would have been criticized or ignored or punished.
Our right to feel our impulses to want things becomes impaired. It becomes not safe and really young we lose what we really desire. We lose our aliveness.
Because if you can’t feel, you can’t really want.
There is a point where we will give up the passion and the enthusiasm and the feeling into what we really want.
Instead, we will give up and become disconnected or “out of touch with ourselves” so we’re not really sure what we actually want but we do know what it’s safe to ask for. The kind of things that in our head feel safer and more appropriate and not as vulnerable to want.